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Sessions

Sit down together, with help in the room

Eleven are written, or call one yourself — with a facilitator whose only job is keeping it to one idea at a time.

5-Minute Connect
FacilitatorOne at a time. What landed today, and what missed?
The thing after dinner. I felt dropped.
I thought you wanted space. I got that wrong.
FacilitatorSay that back to each other before we go on.
Both hereevery turn encrypted before it saves
Guided sessions5 to 30 minutes · together or alone
Couple-ownedNeither of you holds the room alone
The problem

The conversation that actually matters keeps happening at eleven at night, over text, when you are both too tired to hear it — or it does not happen at all.

What a session is

One thread that three of you write into, in a room neither of you owns alone.

Eleven written, and one you call

Five to thirty minutes. Nine for the two of you, two to do on your own behind their own door — or say what it is about and start from there.

The room is couple-owned

Not stored in your account with your partner as a guest. One document you both own, that both phones read and write.

Every turn is encrypted before it saves. A write refuses without the key.

A facilitator, not a referee

It asks the next question, keeps it to one idea, and never takes a side.

Take turns, typed or spoken

One person at a time, and both of you can see who is in the room.

This room only, by default

What you release from your own notes is your call, per session, every time.

It ends with a summary

Short, and you both keep it. Or let it go — one person is enough.

How you use it

1Call one

Pick one that is already written for it, or say what it is about in your own words. Your partner gets a summons — a real ask with a yes and a not now, not a notification buried in a feed.

2Take turns in the room

One person at a time, typed or spoken. The facilitator asks the next question, keeps it to one idea, and never takes a side. Both of you can see who is here.

3Close it together

It ends with a short summary you both keep. What was said in the room stays in the room unless you decide otherwise — the default is nothing leaves.

Why it's worth doing

Turning toward, on purpose

The Gottmans' observational work found that what separates couples who last is not the grand gesture — it is how often the small reach gets answered. A session is that reach, scheduled, so it does not depend on either of you being brave at midnight.

Drs. John & Julie Gottman
The room belongs to both of you

A session is not stored in your account with your partner as a guest. It is one document the two of you own together, and both phones read and write it. Neither of you can quietly hold the record.

How it's built
Your notes stay yours until you release them

The facilitator only knows what is in the room. You can choose to release more of your own material — your notes, or your journal summaries — and that choice starts at this room only every time.

Your call, every time
We are not therapists, and this is not therapy

A facilitator asks better questions and keeps the turns even. It does not diagnose, take a side, or treat anything. When something deserves a professional, the app says so — and the directory of real ones is free at every tier.

Find a Specialist · free
Bids for connectionDrs. John & Julie Gottman
"Can we talk about Saturday?"the bid Turning towardanswered Turning awaymissed

A bid is any small reach for attention. Calling a session is a bid neither of you can accidentally miss — it arrives as an ask, and it waits for an answer.

What leaves the roomYou decide, per session
This room onlynothing outside itdefault Your notesthe shape of it All of ityour journal summaries

Three settings, and the first one is where every session starts. The other two only become available if you have already turned that sharing on for yourself — one switch, not two places to forget.

What they're for

Eleven are written today. Some are for the two of you, some are about how you talk to each other, and two live behind their own door — On your own.

TogetherFive to thirty minutes

Desire mapped and said out loud, giving and receiving practised rather than diagrammed, brakes and accelerators applied to your actual week. The short one takes five minutes on a Tuesday.

How you talk to each otherTen to twenty minutes

Listening without defending. Opening a subject you have both been circling. Putting a new desire or a new boundary on the table without either of you flinching.

On your ownAbout ten minutes · private

Two of them, behind their own door. No summons and no waiting room — they open the moment you start, and what you write there is yours.

Call your first session

Sessions are part of Us — one subscription for the couple, and it opens with two free weeks.

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While you're here

Desire runs on two systems at once. Most of the work is the brakes.

Emily Nagoski's dual-control model: an accelerator that responds to what is sexy, and a brake that responds to stress, chores and unfinished arguments. Pressing harder on the accelerator rarely helps.

Read the science →